TUF 14 Episode 6 recap and rant

Akira tapped. His own team even admits that.

So far the numbers for the season are:
Episode 1: 1.5 million
Episode 2: 1.6 million
Episode 3: 1.3 million
Episode 4: 1.5 million (I expected higher with 2 fights on the episode)
Episode 5: 1.6  million (Akira tapped.)
Episode 6: 1.6  million

The show opens with the end of last week’s episode being recapped. In it we see how much of an ass Bisping is. Also…This hurts me to say, Michael Bisping was right, Mayhem Miller should be ashamed (and I’m not talking about his chewing tobacco habit). He put his hands on Bisping, something that should never happen. I don’t care how much of a d!ck Bisping is (on the show or in real life), there is no need to make it physical.

We already know this weeks fights. We are given snap shots of both fighters training, both fighters have distinctly different training styles.  Bisping points out Diego’s possible weakness (cardio) which was nice of him. Mayhem’s dog Gator (the wiener dog, or hot dog dog) is shown chillin with Team Mayhem. Both fighters make weight, both look healthy. Next we are given the obligatory ‘fighter storyline’ vignettes. Siler is homesick, misses his girlfriend and generally appears to not have his head anywhere in the game. Diego on the other hand, tells his hard luck story about life on the streets of Brazil and being the family bread winner. I personally like his admission regarding him being a one time ‘gun toting drug dealer’ to support his family. On national television no less. Not the best move in my opinion, but not the worst we’ve seen on this particular show either.

The fighters enter the gym, Siler looks sorta ready, Diego looks, well, Beastly. He actually put his hand through the door on his way to the cage. I understand why he’s considered the favorite on the show in his weight class. Steven Siler 17-6  vs. Diego Brandao 13-7. Siver has a 5″ height and a 1.5″ reach advantage over Diego, not that  I think it will matter. The bell rings, Diego sprints across the cage throwing a flying knee. Bisping tells us after the fight, it was completely off the game plan. Diego pressured Siler from the bell till the KO. Siler was outpaced and outmatched on his feet. The fight ends by a left hook against the cage at the 4:30 mark. The ring card girls had the best expressions on their faces. Mayhem tells Siler “You just got caught with a good one.” I would dare to say he got caught with everything. Diego is a monster. With better cardio and a game-plan he sticks too, he could be a major force at 145.

After several awful minutes of Bisping being a complete wanker, we move onto the fight picks from Team Bisping. The options are Dodson/Roland from Team Mayhem and from Team Bisping Tj/Prince. The general consensus is Dodson is the hardest fight left. I’m interested in Dodson’s skill level. Roland is shown complaining about a ‘bee sting’ which looks suspiciously like a ‘staph infection’. Bisping has probably his best monologue of the entire show. He points out all of the petty things Team Mayhem has done up until this point, inserting said petty action in the beginning of this brilliant sentence. “Do not –insert petty action– it only makes you look like an a$$hole.” Pretty damn funny, the only thing I want to know is, who wrote it for him?

Bisping announces Dodson vs. Prince Albert and TJ vs. Roland. Team Bisping thinks TJ is a ‘punk’ for not fighting Dodson, it’s a smart move on his part, he gets the ‘easier’ fight, if there is such a thing. We won’t know if Roland can fight until next weeks episode, I’m thinking ‘NO’. We will see, if he can’t who steps into his place from the losers list?

Team Mayhem still isn’t really on Dodson’s side (due to him selling them out to Team Bisping), as we watch him train, I’m seeing some similarities to mighty Mouse Johnson, not a bad comparison. Dodson is quick, funny and despite his treachery, very likable with the craziest laugh on the show. Mayhem does point out his weakness, he gets lazy in the cage (foreshadowing?) Prince Albert’s training show’s some serious weaknesses. He constantly backs up (foreshadowing?) and doesn’t follow through with this combinations.

The fighters enter the cage John Dodson 11-5 vs. John ‘Prince’ Albert 6-1. Prince will have a 5″ height and 1.5″ reach advantage. Will it help him counter Dodson’s speed? The bell rings, Dodson is quick, catching Prince first with punches and kicks, even scoring with a kick to the face of the much taller opponent. Dodson is quick, did I mention that? Dodson has the ability to get in, land a few and get out unscathed, Prince is visibly frustrated by his movement and speed. Dodson scores with vicious knees to the body. Prince tries to take Dodson down, each and every attempt ends with Dodson escaping immediately or ending up on top. The volume of shots Dodson has landes is somewhere in the range of 5x’s the amount Prince has landed, or even attempted. Prince lands a few clean shots, Dodson moves through them. With a minute left, and the round clearly Dodson’s, we see some of that laziness. Prince actually bent over and put his hands on this thighs to catch his breath, in a fight, he did that…WTF! The round closes with Prince charging, taking Dodson down and ending up on his back with Dodson controlling him. The first round is clearly Dodson’s.

Round 2 starts decidedly slower, Dodson is playing it safe, Prince is hanging back, continues to move backwards. This will not win him the round or the fight. Dodson is picking his attacks, he moves in landing several shots, then steps back. My guess is he’s either trying to save himself for the finals or he likes Prince and doesn’t want to hurt him. Prince tries for a sub, jumping on Dodson’s back, Dodson slips him off and ends up on top, again. I could just repeat that sentence every-time Prince tries a takedown. With a minute left, Dodson is clearly taking it easy, landing the occasional shots, not pressuring Prince. Prince never stops backpedaling, as the round closes, Dodson scores with a takedown. As they go to their corners, Mayhem tells Dodson he thinks it’s over, there will be no 3rd round, while Bisping tells Prince, he thinks there will definitely be a 3rd round. What fight was Bisping watching? Dodson got this round in my opinion, despite not being overly aggressive. Dodson wins unanimous decision.

Mayhem thinks Dodson played it conservatively, which Dodson admits freely after the fight. He tried to avoid any damage to get through to the semi finals. I like Dodson, he’s not being a total prick like Kos was during his tenure, yet he’s playing the game to win. Good on him.

Next week, Tito Ortiz visits, Team Bisping puts an a$$whooping on TJ for his ‘superior attitude’ and the semi final match ups are announced. Still, I’m enjoying this season, gone are the food tricks, the backyard fights (so far), fighters getting cut before they enter the cage or fighters going AWOL.

The quote I never expected to hear ever on a reality TV show:
“Next day I sell my gun, give back the drugs and start fighting hard for my family.” – Diego

The most forced quote of the season: (girlfriend pressure is a beautiful thing)
“I miss Mary like crazy.”- Siler, referring to his girlfriend.

Dana White’s best quote of the show:
“He was fighting this fight that looked to me like ah, Listen man, maybe if I don’t hit him I won’t piss him off and he won’t hit me back.” Referring to Prince’s 2nd round strategy.

Michael Bisping’s best quote of  the show:

Mayhem Miller’s best quote of the show:
“I don’t now what makes Michael such an a$$hole, maybe he has a small penis, I don’t know, but he’s a d1ck.” self explanatory.

Production note- Why do they put subtitles for Diego when he speaks clearly, but they don’t subtitle him when his accent becomes thicker?

One final note. I am astounded by Mayhem Miller. That a professional athlete of Mayhem’s caliber chews tobacco, at this level of competition… astounding.

That’s it!
Anthony Dominguez
comedian.writer.lover…Editor in Chief

Rumble young man Rumble