TUF 14 Episode 9 recap/rant

Akira Tapped!

So far the numbers for the season are:
Episode 1: 1.5 million
Episode 2: 1.6 million
Episode 3: 1.3 million
Episode 4: 1.5 million (I expected higher with 2 fights on the episode)
Episode 5: 1.6  million (Akira tapped.)
Episode 6: 1.6  million
Episode 7: 1.6 (holding steady)
Episode 8: 1.4 million
Episode 9: 1.4 million (for the semis?)

Dustin starts the show by giving a homeless guy they pass everyday on the way to practice a goodie bag with food and a nice note. They are building Dustin up as the ‘nice’ guy. Foreshadowing? Mayhem believes Dustin is much better than Bisping’s team or other fighters think. Several minutes of Dustin’s training and his belief in ‘God’s Plan’. We move to the fighters house, a a nice BBQ, followed by bug eating. Yes, Dustin eats a cockroach for money, then almost pukes…until the money is shown to him. 60 bucks to eat a cockroach. Hell no!

After the roach eating, comes the Coaches challenge. Air hockey, both Bisping and Mayhem don’t seem to thrilled about said challenge. I myself am pretty bored with it too. Then 10k is pulled out, I’m more interested now. Also, each fighter of the winning team gets 1500 bucks too. Much cooler now. I find myself very interested in the outcome. The game starts out very slow, the shots of the fighters following the puck back and forth was hilarious, I could watch those shots over and over. Bisping wins the first round. Then he wins the second, and finally the 4th game, winning the challenge in his usually calm collected fashion. Ending up with him falling off the air hockey table and landing on his back and head, everybody laughs their ass off, including me.

TJ’s training session is shown next, he starts with Tiki (owner of Huntington Beach Ultimate Training Center in HB, Cali) followed by Bisping talking about how great he is, was and will be. Commercial break.

The weigh ins start with the obligatory shots of Mr. Hollywood himself, Keith Kizer, the man who spends more time in front of cameras than doing his actual job of overseeing the sport. He’s the head of the NSAC, and in my humble opinion, a media/fame hungry bureaucrat with no real use. Both fighters make weight, the locker room practices are shown, each fighter tells us why he’s gonna win the fight and make the finals. I’m pulling for Dustin, but feeling like TJ has  the better skillset. Lets see if I’m wrong.

Dustin  Pague 10-4 vs. Tj Dillashaw 4-0. Dustin has a 3″ height and 7.5″ reach advantage. Damn! That’s a big reach advantage. The fight starts with both fighters feinting, TJ starts finding his range first, landing some good shots early. Dustin lands 1 or 2 good shots, then throw a sloppy punch and gets taken down. TJ lands in Dustin’s guard, leading to Dustin going for submission attempt after attempt. Dustin is not listening to Mayhem at all. As teh round progresses, TJ starts to land elbows, sneaking punches in. Dustin is not being overly dominated, yet he’s not trying to stand up. When he does finally try to get up, TJ pushes him down and lands a few good shots. This round is entirely TJ’s, not the best we’ve seen him. The coaches are silent for long periods of this first round. The other contestants are church quiet, very strange. With 25 seconds, Dustin gets to his feet and lands a nice knee.

Round 2- Mayhem tells Dustin that TJ is tired and the knee landed clean. TJ does look a bit tired, but I don’t think he’s as tired as Mayhem thinks. TJ puts Dustin back on the ground against the cage. Dustin is doing nothing right. As Mayhem tells him to do something, he hesitates, meanwhile TJ reacts instantly to Bisping’s advice. 3 minutes in and it looks exactly like the first round. Bad. Boring. Scripted? I know it’s not scripted, it just feels slow. Finally TJ starts landing some vicious knees to Dustin’s body from side control. Another good elbow from the top for TJ, and another, and another. THey aren’t enough to finish, just enough to batter him and win points. Mayhem has told Dustin in the neighborhood of 1 million times ‘you have to get up, you have to be on your feet.’ Did he listen? NO. The round ends with dustin on his back doing…losing, the round ends with him losing badly. TJ won another ugly round. I forgot to mention these fights are 3 rounds.

Round 3- Why? Do I really have to watch a third round of TJ on top of Dustin. Yup, it looks that way. At least in this round TJ is more active, frantic at points. TJ lands elbow after elbow. Dustin gets elbowed again and again. At this point, I find myself thinking about a nice tall glass of Sailor Jerry Rum, yummy rum. I left to get my rum, fight is exactly where I left it. 2 minutes left, I’ve decided Rum isn’t strong enough. I’ve also realized wrestling is incredibly important for every fighter. If you are an MMA fighter, you should spend every waking hour perfecting your wrestling.  A good wrestler will grind out a ‘W’ every-time. IT’s not fun, it’s not exciting, it’s not good in any way at all, but it is a ‘W’. Good for you TJ, nice grinding, boring, wrestling centric win. Dustin, learn some wrestling, not just some, a ton. Practice wrestling until 10 men can’t take you down. It’s official, TJ wins by decision.

Next week is Bedford vs. Dodson and Bryan vs Diego. The preview looks exciting, I’ll reserve that judgement for next week.

This episode felt like it was 2 hours long, with the fight lasting 1 hour 45 minutes.

Bispings Best Quote:
“I might give up the UFC and become a professional air hockey player.”- Bisping (really?) 

Mayehm’s Best Quote:
“They are like castaways on an internetless island.”-referring to the fighter house.

TUF Fighter’s best quote:
“Wether I’m the underdog or not, God’s plan will prevail”- Dustin (does God really care about an MMA fight outcome?)
“What is wrong with me?”- Dustin referring to eating the roach.

That’s it!
Anthony Dominguez
comedian.writer.lover…Editor in Chief

Rumble young man Rumble