UFC 140 ‘If I ruled the Universe’ Results*

This week, I feel as if I did rule the universe. I couldn’t have asked for a better outcome of UFC 140.

The only change in my universe is Tito Ortiz’s fight. In my universe, Tito fought a grueling 3 round war with Lil’ Nog resulting in a 1 point loss, leaving Lil’ Nog the victor and securing a final fight for Tito before he retires for good. Well, maybe there were a few other diferences in my universe. See below for the full recap of changes.

Preliminary card (Ion Television/Sportsnet)

  • Light Heavyweight bout: Poland Krzysztof Soszynski vs. Croatia Igor Pokrajac
     Soszynski defeated Pokrajac via KO (punches) at 0:35 of round 1. This bout aired on the PPV broadcast following the airing of the Makdessi vs. Hallman fight.

Main Card

  • Featherweight bout: Canada Mark Hominick vs. South Korea Chan Sung Jung
    Jung defeated Hominick via KO (punches) at 0:03 of round 1. Becoming the holder of the UFC’s KO record, beating the unrecognized 4 second record of Duane ‘Bang’ Ludwig.
  • Light Heavyweight bout: United States Tito Ortiz vs. Brazil Antônio Rogério Nogueira
    Nogueira defeated Ortiz via split decision (29-28 29-28 30-29).
  • Heavyweight bout: United States Frank Mir vs. Brazil Antônio Rodrigo Nogueira
    Nogueira defeated Mir via submission (kimura) at 3:38 of round 1. Resulting in a broken arm, shoulder, collarbone and pinky toe. Frank Mir will be out for the next 2 years.
  • Light Heavyweight Championship bout: United States Jon Jones (c) vs. Brazil Lyoto Machida
    Jones defeated Machida via technical submission (guillotine choke) at 4:26 of round 2.

Bonus awards

  • Fight of the Night: United States Jon Jones vs. Brazil Lyoto Machida
  • Knockout of the Night: South Korea Chan Sung Jung (Jung was awarded an additional 150,ooo for having the Official KO record in the UFC)
  • Submission of the Night: United States Jon Jones

That’s it!
Anthony Dominguez
comedian.writer.lover…Editor in Chief

Rumble young man Rumble

*NOTE: Reality is overrated. This is much more fun. You just read WHAT?!
That’s right: THIS IS SATIRE. RELAX. Your world can go back to normal now…