UFC on Fox 4: If I ruled the Universe

For those of you wondering, the universe has been in alignment for the past several UFC’s. Invariably, inevitably and undubatbly it has fallen out of alignment with UFC on Fox 4. In my Universe, things are as they should be, Brock Lesnar is the HW King and wears Alistair Overeem’s skin like an overcoat while both the Diaz brothers dominate the LW and WW division’s with Mortal Kombat like ease and THC is not considered a PED nor is it a substance that is even tested for. Roy Nelson is a MW and after Dethroning Anderson Silva, has racked up 14 wins, yes, in my Universe, things are as they should be.

The UFC on Fox 4 card in my Universe looks a bit different at the conclusion than in this one. Check it out.

Main Card

Light Heavyweight  United States Brandon Vera def.  Brazil Maurício Rua -TKO (punches) Rd. 5 4:09
Brandon Vera came out ready to fight, he started the bout by keeping his distance and peppering Shogun from the outside. Shogun responded by wading in and landing heavy blows to Vera’s body, followed by a powerful leg kick. Vera responded with a leg kick of his own, backing Shogun up, Shogun once again waded in and landed a sharp left which dropped Vera in the last 30 seconds of the first round. Vera clinched and was able to hold until the bell. Round 2 saw a different Vera altogether, he walked right at Shogun and proceeded to trade with him blow for blow, kick for kick and elbow for elbow right through till the last minute of the 5th round, when Vera landed a Right jab, right elbow, left knee to the body combo that dropped Shogun, befor Vera could pounce, the ref called the KO. Vera won by Ko in the 5th round. After the fight, Vera thanked everyone and hugged Dana White, Dana offered Vera a #1 contender’s fight when he is all healed up.

Light Heavyweight  United States Ryan Bader def. Brazil Lyoto Machida  -Unamious Decision (30-27, 30-27, 30-27)
Lyoto Machida came to fight, so he says. Bader came to fight and proved it. Ryan Bader did the unexpected, he didn’t chase Machida. In fact, he stood in the center of the Octagon™ for the entire 3 rounds with his hands down, baiting Lyoto to come in and fight him. The strategy worked, Machida was deducted a point from each round for not engaging. Bader counter punched Machida 6 times in 3 rounds, because Machida refused to engage, not wanting to strike first. It was a brilliant move by Bader, boring as hell and it cost him a title shot, but brilliant. Bader tok the W and will live to fight another day, not to mention showing the world one blueprint for defeating Machida.

Lightweight  United States Jamie Varner def.  United States Joe Lauzon – KO Rd. 3 2:42
Joe Lauzon is a beast, the real deal on every level. He cam into this fight after losing his last fight by KO, looking to derail Jamie Varner’s comeback. The fight started fast with Varner unloading as soon as he reached the center of the Octagon™. Jlo responded by shooting for the takedown, which Varner stuffed with ease. The first round found Jlo on the receiving end of a brutal beating, he just couldn’t get Varner’s timing down. Rd. 2 was all Jlo, he came out and immediately landed a solid overhand left, followed by a body kick that left Varner reeling for the entire round. Jlo could’t keep Varner down, so he settled for beating him on his feet till the bell sounded. The scorecards read 1-1, both fighters knew it. The bell sounded for round 3, both men hugged in the center of the Octagon™ before the battle re commenced. This round saw Varner countering while Jlo put the pressure on, looking to set up a submission with his hands. Varner would have none of it, he stayed tight, using his jab until Jlo shot for a takedown, Varner stepped back and caught him with an uppercut followed by an overhand left. Varner didn’t even try to follow up with more shots, he just turned and walked away as the ref rushed in to call the fight. Jamie Varner won by KO and is offered the Winner of the next Diaz LW title fight. (We all know it’s gonna be Nate Diaz).

Welterweight United States Mike Swick def. United States DaMarques Johnson -KO (punches) Rd. 2 1:20
In my Universe, Swick never sufferd an injury or crazy sickness, this was just one more Victory in an incredible career.

That’s It!
Anthony Dominguez
Comedian.writer.lover…Editor in Chief

Rumble young man Rumble

*NOTE: Reality is overrated. This is much more fun. You just read WHAT?!
That’s right: THIS IS SATIRE. RELAX. Your world can go back to normal now…