War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 12

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

WM Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 12

3 months in… Where is the fast forward button? @FloydMayweather gets here soon, I think June 1st after he beats on Cotto. I thought he was finally fighting Pacquiao?? Hopefully they stick him in my unit. There’s only 3 or 4 that he can go into, so, good chance – maybe I can get a pointer or 2? Be nice to finally build an effective jab. I don’t think I’ve ever landed one in a fight… have I even ever thrown one? LOL… I’m more of a straight right, left hook type of guy. Anyway, I’m pretty convinced taht the “pistol” is the best leg exercise ever invented – balance, stability, flexibility, and strength all in one. Once your own body weight becomes too light you can hold a kettlebell or something. Right now I can still only knockout 6 consecutively and that’s only on my 1st set. Once I get down to only 2 I switch over to “airborn lunges” and then I finish off my leg routine with one legged calf raises. Floyd has arrived and left in less time than it took WM to write and post this blog. Floyd beat his baby momma, WM fought another guy…makes you think about the state of our country doesn’t it? Money talks. F23K Floyd for putting hands on a woman. 

Come mid-July I’m gonna have to start adding in some hard cardio workouts too so that I can be in decent shape for my release in October. I wanna be able to “hit the ground running” and get another “W” and some $ ASAP. I’m also curious as to what my weight will be upon my release? I’ve been toying with the idea of dropping down to 55’s, a lot depends on how much I weigh at release. I can foresee a lot of misery in my future if I do go that route. I hate cutting weight. I’m still trying to convince myself it’d be worth it. I’ve never been a big believer in size mattering much in a fight. Look at Franky Edgar, Randy Couture, BJ Penn, Fedor… a lot of the greats have been considered small for their weight class . Then there are guys like Anthony Johnson who were unbelievably huge in their division, yet couldn’t quite get past the top contenders. It’s confusing. Who has the right answer? Is there one? We firmly believe in not cutting more than 10lbs to make a weight class, so think on that. Would be interesting to see WM at 155.

Anyway, you know you’re starving when the “5 second rule” means nothing and when over an hour after chow, you see some morsel of food on your dirty cell floor and gobble it up without thinking twice! LOL! Not even a nice-sized crumb either. I just ate a single grain of rice under such conditions… O-M-G. Yeah, I’m over this rotting in the hole garbage. I originally requested it to ensure zero possibility of getting into trouble and avoid being sent to prison, rather than home in October. It’s hard here in the hole in Vegas, so lonely. I need a lil’ conversation; some type of human companionship. I put in an application to be a worker, if they deny it, I’ll still try to get outta here and into “general population.” I don’t anticipate any drama, but if something goes down I’ll just swallow my pride and walk away. If worse comes to worst, I’ll refuse to fight back/defend myself, I’ve been hit a zillion times, by pros, what’s a lil’ punch from some civilian gonna do? It’d be embarrassing but whatever, nothing more embarrassing than being in jail and treated like an animal. Freedom is a precious thing.Good idea, although, walking away in jail could cause more problems in the long run, we say stick it out in Solitary, stay safe. We’ve all been there with the ‘I’m so hungry I’ll eat anything’ deal, at least some of us here at MMA Rants Today have, we aren’t judging, rice is rice!

Oh snap! @UFC is on TV out in the day-room. @JoshKoscheck and Johnny Hendricks just fought; bad decision! Kos had better stand up and he definitely controlled the ground. I hate decisions! I wonder if this is Live? Nate Diaz just schooled Jim Miller; I love @DiazBrothers209! I bvet my boy @xveganericx is pissed though, he loves Jim Miller. That was a pleasant distraction from the monotony of this place. Makes me wish I were free that much more though… so over this place! And tell me why the last 5 out of 6 books I’ve read kept on mentioning Hungary? (Where my wife was from) Makes me kinda depressed… blah! Anyway, I just heard back from my request to be a worker: DENIED. I don’t even think they’re gonna let me out of the hole and into GP either. Stuck here to rot… LOL! Sucks. Nothing lasts forever though. WM’s a Diaz fan, you don’t say. 

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422

Rumble young man Rumble