War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 14

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

WM Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 14

I’m pretty sure that I’ve explained the differences between “the hole” here in Vegas and the one in San Diego and let you all know that it’s way more boring here. That being said, they just removed the T.V. from the recreation room where we spend 30 min. per day, M-F. THAT being said, they just removed the lil’ library of books from our module as well! Why would they do such a thing? See, they get away with crazy behavior like this in Vegas ’cause there aren’t so many REAL criminals here. In San Diego they wouldn’t even attempt it because the “shot callers” in “the hole,” would spread word to all the other general population modules in the jail and tell them all to riot. This jail politics stuff isn’t my thing but I sure do miss the power the inmates had in Cali, it made our lives as inmates much more comfortable. Viva the Shot Callers.

Anyway, before they retrieved all the jail library books, I finished reading “Sea Biscuit.” What a great story! I laughed, I worried, was happy and sad, I even cried a little. It’s a story like “Rudy” or “Invincible” and makes you feel good, but the last chapter ruins it! So much details of the characters becoming old and decrepit, then ultimately dying. Why can’t you just say: “and they lived happily ever after?” Everyone knows that they’re gonna get old, miserable, and die. That’s life, you don’t have to paint us a damn picture! LOL. On that same note, why do people have funerals? I hate them! They’re so gross and depressing, I’m terrified of them. Maybe I was traumatized because my 1st one was my Dad’s and he happened to die in my arms? I think I’ll make a will and demand that no one arrange one for me when I go. I don’t want all of my loved ones going out of their way just to be sad and hang out with a bunch of other sad people. I’d rather be remembered in life, not that final sad day that dominates memories. Mexican funerals rule, drinking, drugs, laughs, stories and great food. It’s a celebration of life, it’s not about loss. At least that’s what our Editor in Chief says about funerals in his family. We like those funerals.

Blah, next subject: amusement parks. Why are they so sick? I keep dreaming about them. My boy Eric and I are gonna hit up Disneyland when I get out. Why not go from the most miserable place on Earth to the happiest, right? Junk foods, fun rides, and mad hot chicks – is it the ultimate tri-fecta? Imagine if they added brothels for the adults?! Maybe that’s what heaven is? Speaking of heaven, my friend Alan Beck wrote a book called “Blood or Mead” and I recently read it. In the book, there is an interesting dialogue among the gods, which paints a very unique picture of the relationship between Yahweh and Lucifer. I’m not a big fan of fantasy genre books, but that dialogue and ultimately the battle between the gods, made that book well worth the read. I won’t elaborate as I don’t want to ruin what the book’s all about, you can read it if you like. Anyway, why did Lucifer fall from grace and become the bad guy after all? Wasn’t he the most beautiful of all angels as well as their leader? As I recall he was banished for refusing to bow down to God’s newest creation: Man. Sounds like a pretty shitty deal to me… definitely a far cry from the epitome of evil. Let that be a lesson to all: have zero balls and never question authority! Sounds more like a lesson to turn a King’s people into sheep, than a believable recounting of events that occurred between God and his favorite angel. WM is onto something here, we would love to bone Snow White, or that chick from Aladdin, mmmmm. We could call it Whore Town and every hooker would be in costume…we gotta make some calls, this idea is gold. On a side note, in HS we knew several Disneyland Character actors who filmed a homemade porno while in costume, we watched it, fantastic is all we can say. Disneyland was not so happy. Karl Marx had a good theory on God, look it up. WM is right on this one. 

Haha! Some guy was messing with the emergency sprinkler in his room and it broke and went off, soaking him and his cell in gross black, stinky water. Sucks to be him; they’ll prolly give him a new charge; destroying gov’ property or something. This has been a boring week for me, I only got like 2 letters and I’ve read all my books, so I have no entertainment until I’m able to re-up. In my boredom, however, I have designed my dream house, dream gym, and a training schedule to make me invincible upon my release. =)

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
CCDC
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422

Rumble young man Rumble