War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 20

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“It is society, our tame, mediocre, EMASCULATED society, in which a natural man, who comes from the mountains or the adventures of the sea necessarily degenerates into a criminal.” -Nietzsche- Nietzsche is the sh1t!

THAT is a good one. I can’t help but wonder: what a man who thought society emasculated in the 1800’s would think of it now? Pure disgust I bet. Anyway, I’ve noticed something interesting in regard to Mayweather and our chow here. My 1st 4 months we were only served fruit 2x/week, in the form of an orange, at breakfast. In that same 4 months, I swear, we were only served vegetables (besides potatoes) 3 or 4 times total. Well, a couple weeks ago, Mayweather’s attorneys went to court complaining about the level of nutrition here, saying that it’s so poor, that after his 90 day sentence, he may NEVER be able to fight again! LOL. They tried to get him released on house arrest but the judge denied it. BUT, all of a sudden, we get an orange every breakfast, and either green beans or carrots at dinner. Hmm… I see this as the jail FEARING, what they see as the inevitable inspection of our meals, by whatever authority monitors that, right? What else explains it? AND, is this not PROOF, that they have been KNOWINGLY feeding us inadequately? I still don’t see one serving of fruit and vegetables/day as adequate, but at least they can SEEM to be “making an effort” in the eyes of the authorities. CORRUPTION! What, Nietzsche wouldn’t be manscaped? He wouldn’t be metrosexual? We have said it before and will say it again, Nevada jails suck!  

Anyway, so the neighbor I mentioned a couple weeks ago lost his trial and got sentenced to 30 to LIFE. His cousin (and co-defendant) took “the deal” and avoided trial and got 25 years, no “L.” So! As I mentioned before, my neighbor was punished more severely (for same crime) simply because he exercised his right to trial by jury! Complete bullshit. One particular thing about his trial that I found interesting was the testimony of the state’s gun powder residue expert. When asked if the suspect’s hands were tested for GPD after the crime, and if so what the results were, he said, “Yes, and they were inconclusive.” LMAO! You tested the guys hands for GPR, it was either present or not present, WTF does inconclusive mean?! His lawyer asked, “Had you found GPR on his hands, what would your testimony be?” Of course he said, “Positive.” So how does one get a “negative” result? You see, these types of deceptive subtleties occur all the time, straight corruption. Speaking of corruption, my release date magically moved from Oct. 14th to Oct. 29th! WTF? I filed a grievance to see what the hell is going on, I really hope it’s just a “mistake.” More shitty news just arrived in the form of a letter from my grandpa. My grandma started chemotherapy a bit ago and I guess new tumors have continued to form. Basically they said they can do no more and sent her home. They only live like 15 min. from this jail, so close but may as well be 15 hours because I can’t go see her. What if she doesn’t make it until I’m released? I guess I’ll just have to chalk it up to one more thing that that CUNT judge, and this sorry government, have robbed me of. Oh yeah, I’m a “danger to society,” I forgot. So let me get this straight, I’m a danger from March 2012 – October 2012, but then after that I’m okay and it’s safe for society to have me back? Oh yeah, that makes sense. This system is so stupid, jail is ineffective and only compounds the problems of society. Allow me to elaborate: 1 year in jail means you lose your car, home, credit, $, job, and (in many cases) forces a man’s family onto welfare, not to mention the $50,000/year it costs to house an inmate. Once released; that’s when the real punishment begins. Jail isn’t hard but being released with absolutely nothing definitely is. Where does he begin? Even if he learned his lesson and wants to “change” in his desperation, he’s gonna do it (whatever it may be), “Just one more time to get back on my feet.” This makes zero sense, totally counter-productive. I’m terrified of my own release and I at least have a career to come home to. I don’t know what I’m gonna do for the 3 months it’ll take to get back in fight shape. Do I mooch off friends, or do I just fight immediately and totally out of shape knowing I’ll lose? Now that I think of it, I’m scared to drive back to Cali. I’m sure my registration will be expired, what happens if I’m caught driving back, go back to jail? Fuck me though, what will all these guys do? I can’t imagine coming out with nothing, gives me a panic attack just thinking of it. I feel so bad for some of these guys, they’re set up for failure and have hardly any chance at all. We don’t like lawyers as a rule, nor do we agree with the way our court system has been distorted, WM shows a perfect example why. We do like prison justice sometime tho. We wish WM’s Grandmother well and hope she gets to see him soon. This paragraph sounds like a Country song, quick, register this chorus and make millions!

Anyway, so I’ve been wondering why the majority of the cops in jail seem to be pretty cool, where as most street cops are dicks? LOL. Seriously though, why is that? My best hypothesis is that it’s because we spend so much time with them. It’s hard to be an asshole all day, every day, to the SAME people because you come to know them and realize they aren’t so bad. So does that mean most of these guys would be dicks if they hit the streets? I hope not because some of them are real likable but the answer is probably, yes. Being a cop is a shitty job. 1) You have to enforce ANY law passed even if you don’t agree with it. 2) Most people dislike you because you either put them in jail, give them tickets, or didn’t respond to their emergency fast enough! LOL. Shit! Cop came to my door and said @BellatorMMA wants to interview me. I kinda gotta do it, but I feel ugly and gross: my hair is all long, I’m super pale, I’m skinny-fat and ugly! LOL. Ahhh… to be vain, fuck it! Being a cop is a sh1tty job, there is almost no way to do the job and not change as a person. It’s a shame. When will this Bellator interview be coming?

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422

Rumble young man Rumble