War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 21

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in greenWe wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“Fortune favors the bold.” -Vergil Vergil is the sh1t.

I had to give Nietzsche a break. The above quote is one of my favorites and very relevant to a decision I just made. First off, @BellatorMMA contacted the jail and had them ask me if I was down to do an interview in the near future. Then their president Bjorn Rebney wrote me a letter, informing me that their season 7 tournament will begin in Jan. 2013 on @SpikeTV. “We are saving you a spot if you feel that you’ll be ready by then.” Shit! I was anticipating a March or April tourney date; I get released Oct. 29th! And I thought fighting @RogerHuerta was ballsy 3½ months after my last release. To consider this, I’m either the most gangster fighter ever, or the dumbest! Lol. Either way, waiting until Season 8 in 2014 and allowing that idiot judge to rob me of two tournaments, nuh uh. You can’t always sit around and wait until everything is perfect and in your favor. I’m a REAL fighter, and fighters fight. I don’t win fights because of my sharply honed skills and stellar cardio anyway; I win fights because I’m a tough, stubborn, mean son of a bitch who’d rather die than quit. I’ll gladly accept the role of underdog, and when I win, I’ll attain that much more glory because of it. I’m pumped, and I hope you are too – do not bet against me. -We shall not bet against WM. Neither shall you. Bjorn Rebney is a good dude. 

Alright, so anyway, I got some more @FloydMayweather gossip. A cop just told me that he spent 15 G’s putting $500 on every man in his module’s books; must be nice to be in that module! Be even nicer to have his bank account! But that’s nothing. My neighbor has a brother in his module, and this brother drew him a new logo for his company. He liked it so much, that he’s gonna pay his $250,000 bail and get him out! Sick! I don’t ever wanna hear any Mayweather hate again, he’s solid in my book. Back to moi… My lil’ workouts in here have grown in intensity since I got the news; I have to get in the best shape possible before my release. Nothing can make up for real training but the better shape I get into in here, the easier my transition will be. Hopefully my strength and conditioning coach @xveganericx can work a miracle on me when I hit the streets. Last time I got out, the last thing to return was my power, but I hadn’t started using him yet. I hate being stuck in here! I have way too much time to think and it’s driving me crazy. I really wish there was somewhere to do pull-ups here, my pulling strength is gonna suck when I get home! Wish they fed us decent food too, nutrition is so important. Whatever, nothing I can do about it. Somebody press FWD! -We don’t care how many great things Floyd Mayweather does, he’s still an arrogant wife beater. Nice of him to take care of the peeps in jail tho. We distinctly remember a series of VHS tapes based upon jail exercises, they where funny, wonder if they really work.

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422