War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 23

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in greenWe wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.” -Nietzsche -Nietzsche is the sh1t.

I ordered a bag of coffee in commissary this week and I AM STRAIGHT HIGH! LOL. How does a professional athlete and life-long health freak know what it’s like to be high? Hmm- you know what’s shitty? My whole life, the only drugs I ever did was the marijuana I tried in 8th grade. My mother, uncle, and aunt were all addicts, and later, my first love too. Being around it made me see what it does to people, and I learned to despise drugs. THEN while serving my year long sentence in San Diego, while depressed, weak, and bored, I broke down and tried stuff. Maybe I wanted to learn, once and for all, what was so GREAT about the crap that caused all my loved ones to ruin their lives, and abandon me? After experiencing the “greatness” of it, I only became more disgusted with my earlier mentioned loved ones. It wasn’t even magic. I saw zero reason/excuse for one to be hopelessly sucked in and trapped; it just illustrated to me how WEAK and SELFISH those people in my life actually were. If you have a loved one who is strung out and who hurt you, give no sympathy to their “struggle with addiction” and tell them to “fuck off.” And if you yourself are an addict and hurting those who love you, grow the fuck up and stop believing your own lies and excuses. Same goes for alcohol. How come I (and many others) can drink once in a while, enjoy it, and have no further problems, while others drink themselves to death? “A life-long battle with addiction” — I call bullshit. More like a life-long battle with selfishness, weakness, and stupidity. -Coffee gets you high! Damn, WM had access to ‘stuff’ in jail, what a surprise. That’s the beauty of our penal system, way to rehabilitate our inmates. Can’t say we disagree with WM’s assessment of addicts.

Rant over, but you know good old WM speaks the truth. Okay, so I have finally been able to get my diet switched here to the vegetarian tray. So much better! Frickin’ fruit 3 times per day, veggies twice per day, no more bologna for breakfast and lunch. It’s way more food too because the “dietician,” who supposedly plans our meals, is an idiot, and doesn’t understand diet at all and gives us huge portions of peanut butter, or rice and beans, to make up for our “loss of protein” since we get no meat. Too bad a slice of bologna has like 3-4 grams of protein, while 2 tbsp of peanut butter has 8 grams, but they give us like 4 tbsp servings. Plus, on the regular tray they get white bread and we get wheat, which has more protein. And instead of cake with our breakfast, we get a big serving of oatmeal – this diet is all around so much better. Our commissary list is shortened, taking away all the sweets, meats, and Ramen soups, but who cares, I don’t need junk anyway. -Rant away, this is the right site for it. The vegetarian meal plan sounds like the ticket, we will remember this. 

I have just over 3 months left and then I’m FREE, I’m so excited! Finally all of my legal troubles will be OVER and i can LIVE. And with my commitment to avoid places/situations that may possibly land me in trouble, I KNOW I’ll NEVER screw up again. The @BellatorMMA tournament is just around the corner too but this will be much more than my MMA come-back, this will be the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. I finally figured out how to stop beating MYSELF; since I’ve always been my own worst enemy, the sky is the limit! -3 months and counting, the Bellator Tournament is close, we can’t wait. Good luck WM.

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422