War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 24

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“For men are NOT equal: thus speaks justice. And what I want, they would have no right to want!” -Nietzsche -Nietzsche is the sh1t.

Tellin’ it like it is; that one just became one of my new favorites. Hey guys, don’t you worry at all about that theater massacre ’cause I just read in the paper that several theaters will be upping security at R-rated movies, so you can rest at ease. LMAO! How idiotic! Do they anticipate a surge in theater massacres? Do they REALLY think that there is ANY way to stop maniacs from doing maniacal shit? “We need to tighten gun laws in this country.” Hmm… I’m pretty sure gun laws only stop people from LEGALLY obtaining firearms. It’s also safe to assume that one who intends to massacre innocent people, will probably not think twice about the consequences of illegally purchasing weapons. Also, I don’t recall there being a higher frequency of massacres in America’s past, when gun laws were even more lenient. Ever read of lone mad-man shooting up schools or theater houses back in the Wild West? Nope, I wonder why? Probably ’cause before the jerk could let off 3 rounds, 1/2 the bystanders would have blasted his ass with THEIR OWN guns! Want to keep innocent Americans safe, then let EVERYONE carry a gun! Don’t take the guns out of the law abiding citizen’s hands, leaving them only available to those willing to break the law, IDIOTS! Those in charge of this country are either idiots, or liars! It’s both by the way, but mostly the latter. They know that if everyone carried a gun, we’d actually be safer from criminals, and they REALLY know that we’d be safer from OUR OWN GOVERNMENT, and THAT is their real concern! They want us defenseless against, THEM, as they continue to take away more and more of our freedom. Anyway, I’m not gonna carry on, it makes me sick… Almost as sick as what I read about, yet ANOTHER, Catholic priest being convicted of covering up the sexual misconduct of his fellow “men of God.” Any Catholic will swear up and down that their church plays with lil’ boy’s weenies no more than any other church, yet time and time again, it’s them. Reminds me of that awesome episode of South Park where they spoof The Vatican – if you haven’t seen it, go seek it out. -We love Southpark. Speaking of Churches, maybe you can give Mayhem some advice WM, he looks to be headed your direction soon. Guns don’t kill people, people kill people. Men kill in anger, women kill sh1t they love.

Anyway, I haven’t shaven in forever, I think I’m trying to see how ugly I can get. I think I’m depressed. I got all fired up about the fact that I only have 3 months left and then I realized that 3 months is still LONG! Ugh… FML. So bored! I just finished reading book #72, which ties the amount I read last year, but in less than half the time. I’m killin’ last years pace! How can I have read that many? I can’t recall more than 30 books, but I know it’s more because I kept track. Reminds me of the # of girls I’ve terrorized: I know it’s hundreds, but I can only recall like 10… LMAO! Ah, God bless you nameless angels, may there be many, many more. Why can’t the whole world be as honest and awesome as I? It’d be a much better place, especially for women. Guys wouldn’t lie to them just to get in their pants, and they wouldn’t have to say things like, “You know, I’ve never done anything like this before,” because no one would judge them, rather we’d commend them and appreciate their loving ways. Man, I really need to start a sick cult! Beautiful women, strong handsome men, delicious food, training, and orgies. No phony end-of-days psychobabble, no false religions or bogus morals, just true enjoyment of life. Yup! All interested: send me an application and all the $ in your bank so I can get the ball rollin’! LOL, what, a man can dream can’t he? If I really did that I wonder if the government would come shoot and burn us down in all our naked glory, like they did to David Karesh in Texas? I forget why they took that fool out, he was prolly doin’ some weird shit; we should be fine. -72 books is pretty impressive. Chicks dig honesty and scars. Honesty pulls pussy. 

Alright ladies, gentlemen, and all my fellow Whore Machines, until next week: O.P.P.!!!

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422