War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 28

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“Moral law is an invention of mankind for the disenfranchisement of the powerful in favor of the weak. Historical law subverts it at every term.”
-The Judge from McCarthy’s ‘Blood Meridian’ The Judge from McCarthy’s ‘Blood Meridian’ is the sh1t!

Nietzsche couldn’t have said it better himself. That book was intense by the way, and that character was fuckin’ gangster. Anyway, now I”m reading the HUGE biography of Einstein by Isaacson. I know it sounds horrible, but he was much more interesting than I expected. He was a rebel, hated government control, was against organized religion (he was only a “Jew” in the sense that he felt he belonged to that group of people, he didn’t believe the religion), and he was a bit of a Whore Machine himself, which I find both funny and awesome. Here’s my favorite quote of his so far: “Blind respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” And here’s an interesting FACT that goes out to all you idiots who think the Nazi thing could never have/never will happen in the U.S.: In 1938, at the Ivy League University of Princeton, incoming freshman were surveyed and polled Adolf Hitler as the “greatest living person.” Einstein came in 2nd. There will be a “Holocaust” in this country some day, not with Jewish victims, but a different group of humans that the government will label as “undesirable.” All that Illuminati/NWO shit points right to it. -Good point, too bad we already did it to the Japanese during WWII. Remember the internment camps? It wasn’t even about security, it was about stealing the property of Japanese Americans in the name of national security. We as a country suck sometimes. 

Anyway, last blog I told you all that my grandmother passed away; it doesn’t feel real though. Last time I saw her she was as hyper active as ever, plus, if you never are around the other mourners and never go to the funeral, it’s kind of like it never happened. In a selfish way, I’m glad I can’t go to the funeral and never saw her sick, it’s like a shield from the pain. More like I just moved off to Australia and will never see her again, sad, rather than her dying, sad. I dunno, maybe it’s just jail; nothing seems real here that isn’t occurring in my little cell, and I’m sure just like last time, that when I’m released it’ll be the opposite and my entire time in jail will seem to have been an illusion. -Jail sucks.

Anyway, for 2 days in a row, there were 2 cute civilian girls walking around our module and talking with certain cells. I was like “WTF is going on?!” LOL. I wanted them to LEAVE; the one blonde was totally my type and it drove me crazy. Then one day I’m in my cell finishing up a workout with some shadowboxing and I hear a knock at my window, and who is it but the blonde cutie! Fuck! I’m skinny, hairy, pale, ugly, sweaty, and wearing my boxers backwards ’cause I don’t want my weiner popping out of the lil’ hole every 5 seconds… lol. “Can we film you a lil’ bit,” she asked, with a beautiful smile and a giant camera behind her that a dude is pointing at me. I guess they were with @NatGeo – why’d they have to send two cute girls?! I could have said no to an ugly one, or to dudes. Anyway, I don’t know when it’ll air or whatever, but there will no doubt be a clip of some tatted up “criminal” (who must think he’s a boxer or something) shadowboxing in his cell and you all can see how horrible I look. I’ve lost SO MUCH muscle this year, way more than last time; even on my new tray, the food here is just bullshit! I’m a mad-man to be fighting only 2 months after my release in the @BellatorMMA tournament on @SpikeTV, but like I said before, it’ll just make my victory that much sweeter! -Hot chicks just strolling around a jail, that sounds perfectly reasonable, safe even. 

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422

Rumble young man Rumble