War Machine Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 29

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in greenWe wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

“And he whom you cannot teach to fly, teach to fall faster!” -Nietzsche -Nietzsche is the sh1t!

He was such a G, that shit’s funny. Men aren’t created equal though; survival of the fittest, fuck the bullshit. So I just finished that Einstein biography… Dude! Did you know that the Dr. who performed his autopsy STOLE his brain?! Just fuckin’ took it home! LMAO! When the media and his family got upset about it he just said, “Professor Einstein would have wanted it available to science.” And that was that, they all just shrugged and accepted it – that’s SO funny to me. Also, the day after he died, he was cremated and dumped in the river, no funeral, no nothing. It urked the public, but those were his wishes. That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Funerals are nasty and cemeteries are a big waste of $ and land – they’re almost as big a waste as golf courses, ALMOST =) Plus, who wants to attend a funeral anyway? Sad, miserable events, better that you just disappear one day and everyone wonders, “Hey, what ever happened to so and so?” No one needs to be sad and have their last memories of you in a box. When I go out I’m gonna do just like Einstein, no funeral, nothing. Gonna have my SEAL buddies dump my ashes at the O-course at BUD/S ’cause when I was growing up I only had 3 fantasies: 1) Fight in the UFC. 2) Do porn. 3) Become a SEAL – and I never got to do the last one. If I die before my lazy ass makes a will, let this be it, you all are my witnesses. -Nietzsche was a ‘G’ for sure, if he was alive today, he would be ‘Sho Enuff’ from Barry Gordy’s The Last Dragon. 

Man! This one asshole won’t stop yelling and screaming and it’s irritating me. First of all, the 2 cops working today are actually pretty cool. Secondly, he’s mad ’cause he didn’t keep track of the time he had in the day room (spend all his time talking at his buddy’s door) and had to lock-it-down before he was able to shower – that’s HIS fault! Now he’s telling them that when he gets released he’s gonna kill then, even their wives and kids! NOW is the time when the cops should be allowed to go in there and beat 1/2 to death. Funniest shit is that he didn’t say a thing until AFTER he closed his door; pussy. I just got back from my free-time and I’m jealous! One of the only 2 dudes I talk to said he got that cute blonde’s (from @NatGeo) mailing address for a new pen pal! I wonder if it’s true? He’s not a liar though — fuck! So did she give it to him to be a nice pen pal, and to maybe learn some prison shit for the show, or was she into him? Being a guy, I know that he assumes the latter; me being a hater, I hope it’s the former! Haha! What are they thinking sending cute girls in here with great asses?! Gonna cause riots! Fuck jail! Fuckkk! -Once again, hot chicks running around a jail, great idea.

Oh shit! Forgot to tell you that I heard from @BellatorMMA again; I fight the 3rd week of January live on@SpikeTV. I’m not sure against who, I know of 3 others that are in the tourney, but I’m not sure if it’s public knowledge yet. Also, I don’t anticipate fighting one of them until the semis or finals, and don’t know the last 4 names, so I’m completely in the dark. No matta none, I’m gonna wreck all comers, this tourney is MINE! -Good Luck WM. 

I will get back up.

Jonathan Koppenhaver #2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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Booking # 0002519422

Rumble young man Rumble