Screen shot 2013-06-29 at 11.12.02 AMWar Machine likes to talk, he recently spoke with Steph Daniels over at Bloody Elbow, below are a few of his insightful observations. 

“They’re raping us. They really are. Did you know that Dana White is worth $150 million? Does he deserve money? Of course he does. He did a lot for the sport. At the same time, does he deserve to be that rich, where he can gamble away hundreds of thousands of dollars and have 25 Ferraris and all that bullshit? No, not if his fighters are all broke. Fighters deserve to make real money, and it’s gotta start at the top.”

They are raping fighters, they really are. They are attacking them when they aren’t ready and doing one of the most despicable acts to them, they really are, can’t you see that, are you blind? What is wrong with you people, FIGHTERS ARE GETTING RAPED AS WE SPEAK!

Yes, the above lines is absolutely inflammatory and ridiculous…sound familiar? Let’s see what else War had to say.

Here War talks about his ‘Good Friend’ Dominick Cruz.

“If I was a champ, the UFC would be in a world of shit. I have balls. I’ll put it on the line. All these guys are pussies. Dominic Cruz is a good friend of mine. He’s a nice guy. I used to live with him and he’s one of the best fighters in the world, but he has no f*cking balls when it comes to this kind of stuff. I seen it when we were younger, when we were nobodies. He just will not stand up to authority.”

I generally refer to my close friends and family as having ‘No f23king balls’, it’s a term of endearment, they like it and respect me for telling complete strangers about their ‘lack of f23king balls’ at every opportunity. It’s these kinds of inside jokes that make our relationships stronger. Stronger I tell you.

Finally, War brings us full circle back to Dana White…this one is a doozy.

“God forbid if Dana White was gay. If Dana White was gay, he’d have fighters sucking dick. I guaranf*ckingtee it. If he was gay, every fighter would have to suck his dick to fight. That’s how much power they have. There would be dudes that fight the toughest guys in the world that would get on their knees and suck dick to get into the UFC. It’s the truth. We’re just lucky that Dana White’s not gay. I’ve hard stories about Vince MacMahon and Joe Weider. Bodybuilders and wrestlers suck dick for jobs.”

Boy are we lucky, lucky I tell you, are you listening to me, cause we sure are lucky. It’s luck that’s keeping Dana White from coming out of the closet, then proceeding to pull out his UFC tattooed god like penis and allowing the upper echelon of MMA fighters to lavishly coat his erect member with saliva for the greatest opportunity in MMA, aside from fellating DFW that is. It’s true, because he’s heard stories of Joe Weider and Vince McMahon getting their god like penis’s fellated by the world’s top Professional Wrestlers and Body Builders, do not doubt what War Machine has heard, ever.

I get where WM is coming from, and I get what he’s trying to say, but the excuse that ‘he’s keeping it real’ speaking this way has worn out it’s welcome with me. The man is much more intelligent than this, he could be articulate if he chose to be, he could use entirely different words to get his point accross and still ‘be keeping it real’.

War Machine read hundreds of books during his time in Jail (both seasons) many of which were history, philosophy and biography, books that by default would raise a person’s vocabulary, yet he chooses to speak the way he does…step up your word game son!