War Machine’s Jail Blogs Season 2 Episode 3

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

WM Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 3

Just got back from court… We were attempting to withdraw my plea so I could take this B.S. to trial, win, and go home. Should have done that in the first fucking place and would have if I knew the judge was gonna fuck me. Funniest part about the hearing – when some glitch or something came up on their computer and made it appear as if I had something else pending, the judge said, “I wouldn’t want to SPECULATE but might be some kind of trouble he’s gotten into while in custody.” Umm… isn’t that SPECULATING right there? How about at sentencing when she SPECULATED, actually ACCUSED, me of taking steroids? LOL! Fucking Kangaroo Court! Anyway, that is that! Buckling in to do this time now. My last recourse is gonna be a request/application to do house arrest instead of this crap, that’d be a lil’ better. At least then I could make $ and eat real food. I hope all of you learn from my mistakes. 1) NEVER utter a single spoken word to any cop/detective/anyone about your case. 2) Take your case to TRIAL! Every time. Don’t trust the crooked system and their plea “agreement.” It’s an agreement between the D.A. and the judge, not you and the ANYONE. DA: “Hey Judge, I got a real weak case on this guy… how about I give him a plea for no jail time, and then at sentencing you just nail his ass and throw him in jail?” Judge: “Sounds good to me. How’s dinner sound Friday night? I hear the new buffet at the Rio is excellent.” LMAO! Sad, but true as a motherfucker. Sad but true, the ‘system’ is about relationships more than it’s about justice. We’ve all experienced that.

So anyway, I heard my boy @kendallgrovemma lost his last fight vs. Jay Silva… pisses me off! Keep your head up tall piece of shit! I love you, I’d rather lose a fight than be in this boring spot! Eat some SPAM and pussy for me! Back to jail… Man, some people really lose their fucking minds in this place. I hear random screams in the night, random pounding on doors and walls, yelling… it’s fucked up. Being locked in solitary is no joke, and I only have a year to deal with. Could you imagine these dudes spending 10-15 years this way? Then one day, BAM, you’re free! How the fuck are they supposed to make that adjustment? If they have no family or friends, how do they get back on their feet? Where would you start? I don’t understand it at all. Like, in court they had a lady like 45 years old who is a career thief. They read off like 48 convictions, 9 times to prison, etc. etc. They just gave her another 16 months. Obviously jail ain’t working! These people go in 16 months, come out a couple years, go in 2 years, and on and on. MMM, Spam and Pussy, dinner of Kings. 

In jail, they don’t try and rehabilitate you, and if it isn’t an effective punishment, which clearly to some it is not, they continue doing the same shit. They need to find a better solution. Now I’m reminded of another thing that pisses me off: JAIL WORKED FOR ME, I CHANGED MY PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR, why then put me back in for old ass shit, and ruin my progress!? Fucking bullshit! That judge was a fucking idiot with some kind of fucking God Complex. Makes me sick. Going out on a limb here, calling the judge names might not help you get house arrest.

Alright, as I explained last episode, the commissary here is stupid. This means that I’m not gonna be able to reply to a lot of you who write to me. I’m only allowed to spend $15/week on snacks/envelopes/soap, so I can’t even get a hold of enough stamps to write my loved ones as often as I’d like. Another bullshit thing about this jail, how can they limit the amount of letters you write? Ridiculous. And of course, people aren’t allowed to send you stamps… WHY NOT?! I’m in a bad mood today. My fucking skin is all dry and I stink! Haven’t been able to purchase deodorant or lotion yet ’cause I spend everything on their 80¢ stamps and snacks. Also pissed there’s nowhere here to do pull-ups. In S.D. I could do ’em off my bunk, won’t work here. I’m gonna be weak as shit when I get out of here, I remember how horrible I felt last time upon release… still can’t believe I fought Huerta 3½ months later. I’m either gangster as fuck, crazy, or just plain stupid! Maybe I just refuse to let this punk ass government keep me down? Fuck the system, fuck the judge, fuck the D.A. fuck attorneys who don’t care about their clients and fuck all of you who don’t agree! Refer to the above commentary.


Jon Koppenhaver 2519422
330 S. Casino Center Blvd.
Las Vegas, NV 89101

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