War Machine’s Jail Blogs Season 2 Episode 6

War Machine (AKA Jon Koppenhaver) is back in jail for a 3 year old assault charge and just like his stint last year, he’s blogging from jail. We will be posting War Machine’s blogs with commentary in green. We wish him the best and poke fun with only good intentions.

WM Jail Blog Season 2 Episode 6

I just finished reading “Mysticism and the New Physics,” my 17th book in 6 weeks, and now I’m bored again… ugh! There was an interesting chapter about time in that book and I’ve been daydreaming about the subject a lot. In the book, they were saying that it (time) isn’t linear as we have always assumed. In other words, it isn’t past, present, and future, but actually, all occurring simultaneously, just in different dimensions or whatever. I guess this has been common knowledge to all mystics, sages, and holy men of the East forever. And now since quantum physics isn’t adding up as it “should,” Western physicists are being forced to reconsider EVERYTHING. I’ve read in other books that master meditators can access these other dimensions and literally re-live past events. Not alter them, but watch like a movie, more than that though because it’s 1st person point of view, and all their senses participate! Wow! How sick would jail be if I could do that shit!? I’d spend the next 8 months fucking @RileySteele and @AsaAkira and eating pizza! LMAO! You think that’s why all those monks dedicate their lives to living in the middle of nowhere and meditating? They’re just in a constant badass dream and prefer it to the lame real world? I feel like I just stepped into Donnie Darko. Also, War Machine talking Quantum Physics is pretty F23King cool if you ask us. 

Anyway, since it’s possible to “travel” to these other dimensions, then I wonder if it’s possible to just stay and take over your past self? Fuck it, just leave your present self on auto-pilot. If you think about it that’d be a fountain of youth in a sense. I’d go back to 8th grade right now! Why that age? ‘Cause that’s when all the cool shit starts to happen and when your actions start to count in the long run. Imagine what I’d do to those poor girls my second time around… haha! In all seriousness, imagine how badass of a me I could create. MMA wise, $$ wise, education wise, all of it! Imagine all the people that I could help too. Ohh the terror we could wreak if this was possible.

My best friend in 8th grade, Matt Katz, just died a couple years ago from an oxycontin OD, maybe I could have prevented that? There are definitely a few girls I would have been nicer to, I was a dick to chicks in H.S. and stuff. I know for one thing, if I could go back I’d be nicer to my brother and sister. I was never a bully growing up and easily could have been, but my brother and sister were the exception. I was the devil to them. I’d change that and regret it a lot to this day. All that time I spent breaking them down could have been used to build them up. Shit, maybe my brother and I could have been like the Diaz brothers, that’d be sick. We had a shitty home life with my dad dying and my mother being a drug addict, but it could have been much better if we had stuck together. So let this be a lesson to all of you youngsters out there, be there for your siblings. All of you youngsters need to believe us “adults” when we say, “There’s no rush to grow up, enjoy your youth, ’cause when you get older you’ll miss it.” Shit, I know that I never believed that shit! What a mistake… And I know that I am not alone in that. Listen to Uncle War Machine kids, that’s experience and pain talking. It don’t get any realer than that.

Please all you young, stubborn, know-it-all assholes: Enjoy and take advantage of your youth! One more main piece of advice, learn languages, as many as possible! That is the most important way to educate yourself, more than college, more than anything else. Being able to provide that bridge to another culture will bring in way more $ and opportunities than some B.S. degree. Plus, you’ll get mad extra pussy! LOL! Nothing worse than being in a country of fine girls and you can’t even speak to them! That simple fact right there is probably what keeps whore houses alive, right there! LOL! Brilliant advice. Bloody Brilliant! Uncle War Machine is our favorite uncle.

Anyway, I sat in bed forever last night trying to will myself into another dimension, shit didn’t work. =( I remember, in Season 1, my boy David Lee sent me a book on lucid dreaming, and after much practice, I had a few. For those of you in the dark, that is when you’re dreaming, and then realize it, and take over and do whatever you want! It’s as good as real life, maybe better. You see, your brain doesn’t know what is “real” or what is imagined, same way people can bust nuts in “wet dreams.” I mean, no one touched your weiner in “real life” but the end results proves it must not matter! LOL! Now I’m getting fired up! I need to do my daily exercises again so I can have more of those lucid dreams. Shit, I wonder how long it takes to become a monk? Might be a good retirement plan, spend your last years in dream land. Man! I should have smuggled like 200 Ambiens up my butt and just slept this entire year! Sleeping is the only way to escape from jail and not get in trouble. We once knew a woman who put 200 chopsticks in her but. True story.

(New Day)

The Vegas cops/jail are super shady! A couple of cops had to wrestle a guy down in our module just now. No biggie, but then when that happens they announce “code red,” and madd cops come running in. To assist, yes, but mostly to yell at all of us inmates to, “Get away from your doors! Don’t look! Sit on your beds!” etc. Basically, they forbid us from watching and threaten us with being tazed if we do! Understand this, we are locked in our cells, can’t get out, impossible. But they will unlock our door and shoot us with a tazer if we watch? Basically, what’s really going on is that they are PREVENTING WITNESSES in the event that an officer does something fucked up, like beat on a handcuffed man! Crazy, they weren’t even that shady in Cali. That is a very dangerous thing and I don’t know how they can punish you for simply observing? Someone that is doing something textbook/kosher/legal, should not have a care in the world as to who watches! Just one more example of why I can not and will never respect our crooked ass system or the cops! BTW, whoever got me the book “Way of the Peaceful Warrior,” thanks! Great book, everyone should read it. If we had a dollar for every time this little dealy happend, we would be Oil Czar rich. ‘Code Reds’ aren’t good for anybody, least of all the prisoner getting the beat down being subdued.

I will get back up.@WarMachine170

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